bittersweet

Smudged

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Shifting uneasily in her tall bar stool

Waiting far too long

He probably isn’t coming

He never really was

Reapplying lip gloss

Drawing a crowd of eyes

So many boys who thought they were long since men

Like magnets to her carefully pursed lips

Soft pink and glistening

The only thing in the room

Busy pub televisions playing the game of the day

All those boys’ eyes on her

Her short white skirt

Sexy and yet classy

She admires herself in her compact mirror

The bartender tops up her wine

A wonderfully smudged glass

Dashed are her plans

only known to her

Still so beautiful

The center of attention

All the boys clamor

Mustering up some liquid courage

Slipping out uneventfully

Maintaining her mystery

Smiling only to herself

Loving every minute

Every second

Feeling so very wanted

best date night

so happy to be alone

On my way

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Loose gravel crunching

Slip sliding along

A lonely stretch of highway

Alone

Half lost and tired

Middle of nowhere

A light in the distance

That old tired car

Sleeping in the ditch

How envious still

Of a car sleeping

Trudging onward

Tiring feet

Exhausted limbs

Heaviest eyelids

The light in the distance

Blurring more and more

Just darkness

More darkness

The light extinguished

Empty highway

Crunching onward

Everything so silent

Just a quiet wind

Hard steps

Heavy breaths

Then nothing

Silence

 

Lines crossed

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I didn’t know it existed

Then it found me

Never thought it was real

There it was

Couldn’t possibly last

But there she slept

What a beautiful morning

It still was a dream

Even so wide awake

Quickly a nightmare

Things had changed

All that was

Existed no longer

So many happy memories

A terrible nightmare

Her beautiful sleeping face

Burned into my mind

A line once crossed

Can never go back

We could make it work

So very naïve

Or perhaps just hopeful

Years later

Barely a memory

The smell of that perfume

Not even bittersweet

Like remembering a movie

You saw on tv

Filled with commercials

Hardly paying attention

That’s all it amounts to now

Smiles forever ago

Followed by doubts and sadness

strength gained

A painful lesson learned.

Survival Smiles

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We were always strangers

That afternoon we met

the evening we parted

Never ourselves

bad actors

Delusions of happiness

We never really were

Separate togethers

Strongest of wills

Not nearly enough

Brightest hues

True colours

Honest intentions

Simply not to be

Love?

So fleeting

Never there

Blinding lust

Intoxicating scents

Sex and fresh leather

That familiar perfume

Forever connected

Brief summer splash

Drops in the ocean

Whitewater of life

Eroding shores

Wasting precious time

Smiles and memories

Lesson and learning

Living to survive.

 

 

The Soundtrack

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Steady percussion

Melodic drums

Tapping a steady song

Firmly sprints

Lower still

The deepest heartbeats

Strong and ever faster

Never another

Dear, only for you

That evening in the garden

Sun kissed skin

Lush green grass

Memories of all those giggles

The way only you can laugh

The only song

Infinitely repeating

The soundtrack of my somber mind

 

So graceful she turns

How quickly gone

A dry leaf in a strong wind

The first gust of a storm

Both are we

Alone

Lost

At sea

Still drifting

These songs please listen

Songs you know well

Symphonies playing our favourite songs.

Bittersweet Triumph

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The long stemmed legs of a flower so pretty,

Gently sauntered, so graceful upon the points of heels.

A seemingly impossible elevation of both importance and beauty all at once.

Eyes followed her closely and not just my own, if only to catch a quick glimpse. .. a fleeting image as she delicately floated by.

Her destination once heralded now a place of temptation, I feel the pull like a moth to a flame, yet I resist.

My mind races with excuses and reasons, justifications and validations.

I am here and in a way victorious,

It sure doesn’t feel like I won.